In Memory

Judson Haviland

Judson Haviland

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03/18/16 03:39 PM #6    

Paul Goldstein

The river is wide, isn't it? It boggles me that so many of our Class of '65 mates have already passed. Jud is just one. A quiet, big kid who gave off (to me) a vibe of strength and positive energy. He didn't smile much, and we never exchanged more than normal civilities in the hall, but he had a face I liked. My condolences to his family.

You just knew some of our classmates were going to die young, some-kind-of-crazy kids burning their wicks at both ends. Their passings I can accept; they agree with my expectations. But other classmates, ones who avoided the spotlight, they too seem to have died too young, screwing up my guidelines. Jud was like that, steady, and passing too young. As I slow down, my rules comfort me. Jud's passing disrupts them. 

Why have so many of us passed? I understand the process, but not the selection. Do we have an actuary in our ranks? Is what's happening to our class a "normal" thinning? It doesn't feel that way to me. Was their energy, like Jud's, needed elsewhere? 

I was in Delaware at the time of the reunion, thinking about relocating back east. I chose not to attend the event. I prefer to remember us as young, filled with enthusiasm and ambition, unwrinkled and ready to knock the world on its ear.

Share your thoughts, if you want. I would like to read them. 

03/19/16 07:19 AM #7    

Karen Halsband (Wharmby)


Your comments are eloquent and apt.  I too am unsettled by the number of our classmates who have died.  I hope that those of us who are still able can honor our classmates by remembering the ideals we held so dear in the 60’s and continue to do what we can to make the world a better place.



03/19/16 02:08 PM #8    

Tad Kallini

Thoughtful, caring comments...thanks. For those wondering if our losses are consistent with other high school classes, this may help. Found this summary that used a number of sources (including the US census):

In an average class of 330 people, 70 do not survive to attend their 50th reunion. We have lost 73 (that we know of) of 506 classmates. If we were average, that would suggest 107. Let's hope we are below average in this case.

Be well, everyone!

03/20/16 08:18 AM #9    

Elliot Sender

Although I wasn't close with Jud, I have been following this thread and thinking about the comments concerning our longevity or lack thereof. I missed this year's reunion but remember particularly a remark made at the 20th or 25th.There were a group of couples at dinner and someone asked a guy who he did not recognize, wondering if he was the spouse of a classmate, "Did you grow up in Asbury?" Turns out the guy was a classmate but his instant reply was "No. Nobody did. That was the whole point." When I try to explain our high school experience to others, I often emphasize that the dismissal bell rang at 12:50 and that made for a lot of fondly-remembered good times. But along with them came alot of temptation and a lot of distraction. The late 60's were a dangerous time, and we entered them from a place that didn't encourage restaint. Just sayin.....

03/20/16 01:51 PM #10    

Lorraine Morris (Koll)


It's very sad that we've lost so many, but the late 60's gave us Viet Nam and some of our people must have been there.  We're very lucky we didn't more.

03/20/16 02:56 PM #11    

Anne Smith (Sullivan)

I remember Judd as always pleasant and smiling and was happy for him to have the fishing boat and being able to stay in the area among all his friends and family Sorry he left us so early. When my time comes if I am lucky enough to make it upstairs hope to be greeted by his warm smile 


03/20/16 05:32 PM #12    

Diana Zyvith (LaRocque)

I, like Elliot, have been following this thread as well and trying to come to terms with the feelings that this reunion (online and/or in person) has evoked. The loss of our classmates began early, I think Judy Gutteridge was one of, if not the first, to have left us at a very young age. Most of us were only 19 or 20 when Judy passed in a tragic small plane accident, I was so saddened by what seemed to me to be such a loss. As I have reached this grand old age of 68 I have come to terms with death and the inevitable role that it plays in all our lives. Eddie Koblenz's death, I think the latest, reminded me how swiftly our lives change, but Eddie and I were in touch up to the very end and I can deal with his passing with a smile more often than not because of the silly moments we shared at the end of his life. I think my greatest sadness for classmates comes when I think of those still alive who want nothing to do with those of us still around. Even after reaching out to them they have chosen not to acknowledge our friendship from years past, now that is what makes me truly sad.

03/20/16 06:17 PM #13    

Joan Solomon (Cummings)

This is always hard to hear Judd was a very nice guy I did not get the opportunity to really know him but what I did know I liked. RIP Judd so sorry for your friends and family.

03/20/16 07:08 PM #14    

Lana Goldberg (Gauvreau)

So sorry to hear about Jud. Although we were not close friends out of school, I do remember him as always

being a sincere person. A big person in stature with a kindness to a little person in size like me. It is a shame about the number of our classmates who have died.  Lets all make the very best of each day as

we never know the outcome of our lives. Time is fleeting so hold on and enjoy the ride!!!


03/21/16 11:28 AM #15    

Richard Muller

Since posting Jud's obit, I have been following the thread and have been pleased to see  is remembered so fondly. Thank you for your comments. Jud was a friend of mine. We played football together for four years, and indeed he was a gentle giant. He never was overly agressive to any of his teammates during practice, but on game day, I witnessed his capabilities and was glad to not be one of THEM. He looked silly as a player, there was never a helmet that fit his head well. They just sort of sat on top, never coming down far enough to cover that eternal smile. Maybe that was his great weapon. Deception. The posting came about because I had recently reconnected with John Pittenger. Pitt and I had so many great times on and off the field. He was my steady surfing partner and my main mode of transportation because I never was old enough to drive in high school. Pitt is now a proud, self-proclaimed "hillbilly," and Jud was a friend of his too. He asked if I knew what happeded to Jud. I located the obit to send to him and decided to post it here as well. The takeaway here is that we never know how long any of us will last, but for those of us still in this place, we now have the resources to reach out and find our long-lost friends that we could not reach out to only 10 years ago. "Reach out and touch someone" was an AT&T or Bell Systems ad many years ago for long-distance calling sales. Today, it's a way of avoid the regrets that come along with having to say we wish we had found the Juds in our lives before we lost them.

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